Avoidance therapy
SideQuest XR
A twelve-hour distraction platform for patients committed to treating every adjacent task except the original issue.
- Indication
- Chronic tab opening with episodic calendar rearrangement
- Presentation
- Extended-release capsules
- Strength
- 60 neuro-auric capsules
- Portfolio
- Avoidance therapy
- Availability
- experimental
The condition
Common symptoms
- Unprompted calendar hygiene.
- The urge to reorder all tabs before addressing the one with the error.
- A suspicious affection for task lists that never touch the task.
How it allegedly works
Who should not take it
Mechanism of action
An urgent problem being expertly reclassified as a productivity experiment.
Redirects executive function toward low-priority activities with exceptional visual polish and a twelve-hour procrastination profile.
Benefits
- Supports up to 47 simultaneous browser tabs.
- Improved confidence while rearranging calendars.
- Beautifully formatted non-deliverables.
Important safety-ish information
Do not take if you need to finish anything before lunch or if your inbox has already developed sentience.
Side effects
- Supports up to 47 simultaneous browser tabs.
- Improved confidence while rearranging calendars.
- Beautifully formatted non-deliverables.
Fake disclaimer
This fictional product is not medicine, medical advice, a substitute for professional care, or a productivity strategy endorsed by anyone responsible.
May cause inbox labeling, cable organization, or an unscheduled deep dive into standing desks. The original task may remain unaffected.
SideQuest XR. Avoid the issue.
Not a real therapy. A very real suggestion.
The portfolio
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Medical information